Mexican Rabbi
words, lyrics, and music by David Kleiner

I was traveling down Mexico Way
It was a Jewish holiday
I stepped into a temple to pray
What I saw took my breathe away
There on the bema was a vision so pure
My heart tilted like a mezuzah on a door
Then an old man sitting next to me
Tugged at my tallas, and he said to me:

(chorus) Don't fall in love with a Mexican rabbi
She'll break your heart in two,
like a matzo tortilla
When she says "Shalom" does she mean hello or good-bye?
And does she just want a chair,
when she says "silla"

Well, I laughed at this silly old man
Said "you just do not understand
I'm only here for the services
I'm not looking for a relationship"
Then she began her sermon, and looked right at me
I turned greener than guacamole
More in love with every word she said
Than I heard a voice inside my head, and it said

(chorus) Don't fall in love with a Mexican rabbi
She'll break your heart in two,
like a kreplach quesadilla
When she says "shalom" does she mean hello or good-bye
And does she just want a chair,
when she says "see ya"

(bridge) I met her outside the temple door
I never ever kissed a rabbi before
Her lips were sweet as Manishevitz wine
With a shot of Cuervo on the side
Then I heard the cantor say
"She belongs to the moyel, Jose"
And I knew, yes I knew, I should leave,
but then I heard her say:
"Come a little bit closer, you're my kind of mensch, so rich and secure
Come a little bit closer, and please don't kvetch,
donde vas, por favor? Donde vas, por favor?"

Well I thought I found heaven on Earth
Finally someone who knew my net worth
I was ready to carry her away
When I heard the crowd scream, "Oy VAY!"
There stood Jose, with some kind of tool
He said, "Step back gringo, this is my shul"
If there's one thing I've learned by my age.
Don't mess with a moyel in a murderous rage..

So I said good-bye to my Mexican rabbi
There are somethings you don't forget,
like a herring pinata
When she said "Shalom" did she mean hello or good-bye
As I sadly walked away, I just whispered, Manana...
Don't fall in love with a Mexican rabbi.

Copyright 2000 David Kleiner